The Week That Was
This was a very eventful week for me. The major thing was one of my stories on Medium got boosted.
For those who do not know, I write on Medium, a blogging platform, the stories there when read by paying members earn me some side income. Now when I say the story was boosted, it means it was promoted by Medium much more than others owing to the quality of the story. I earned about 35 dollars from a single story which took me about half an hour to write.
I also decided to be more active on X(Twitter). I intend to share my learning on Life and other things on X. It is a great platform of growth for writers like me.
If you have an X(Twitter) account fo follow me at @JijoGeo.
On a personal front, it was work as usual. I have lately been leading workshops with the Energy Consument Australia and Sydney Alliance to improve the energy situation in Australia, especially for immigrants, so that has also been keeping me busy. In a leadership role, it is important to project leadership, and a leader needs to be listened to. If you aim to be a leader then make sure you know what you need to be considered a credible speaker/leader.
On this note, let’s move on to today’s topic.
Avoid These Mistakes if You Want to Be Listened to
My last newsletter spoke of how to be a good listener. This one is all about what to say.
If listening is something people ignore, then Speaking is the counterpart that people are usually too confident about.
By speaking I don't mean public speaking, that is a different beast. I am talking about our daily conversation. You must have noticed some people are easy to listen to, but with some even passive hearing drains you.
When a good speaker speaks, people take notice. These people are not just heard, they are listened to. Like listening, speaking is also a skill. But unlike listening, speaking is an active skill, so there is a lot to cover.
Today I would cover the ‘What’ of speaking, and not ‘How’.
Gossip
I would be lying if I said people do not like gossip. Almost everyone does, but then there is a difference between light fun banter, to outright lying with malicious intent.
Gossiping means talking about someone in their absence. There could be cases where this is done to avoid people who could be a problem in a given social circle. In such cases, the fact shared is not to take advantage of, but to avoid concealing information that if not common knowledge can be detrimental to society.
But gossipping with an intent to malign someone’s reputation can be very detrimental to your social value. Such gossips are usually partial or whole lies and can be easily seen through.
Everyone knows someone who does this, and such people are hardly ever believed or respected. This is the thing you should avoid if you want to be listened to.
Negativity
Do you know someone who is always negative?
Such people always look at the bad things, may it be about a situation or people. Such people are usually jealous of others' success, and would rarely say something good about others. Their presence drains you. Their negativity drains every ounce of positivity around them.
Nobody likes to listen to someone who can potentially destroy your confidence or say things to bring your mood down.
Never be that person, if you want to be listened to.
Complaining
The eternal complainer, these people have a problem with everything and a solution for nothing. Some people complain to seek solutions for things out of their control, but some complain even about things they have control over.
They would complain about the lack of opportunities, without seeking them.
They would complain about the lack of information, without searching for it.
They blame others for their problems.
Nobody wants to listen to complaints from someone who does not raise them to seek solutions but to blame someone or something else.
Excuses
The one who refuses to take responsibility. These are those people who as per them are not to be blamed for anything. They are always ready with an excuse for the mess they create.
They always avoid being held responsible even when the fault is theirs.
They often do not own up even to the decisions they make, holding others responsible for how they influenced the decision.
Everyone knows that the words they speak are self-serving. Their words are mostly disingenuous, so nobody cares about what they say.
Avoid being the one who never holds themselves accountable for their choices.
Dogmatism
These are the ones who are never wrong. At least as per them.
Such people are incapable of differentiating between their opinions and facts. Talking sense to such people is like speaking against the wind.
At the end of the day, the only way to end the conversation is to agree to what they are saying, otherwise the conversation is not over.
Such people do not respect or even consider beliefs different from their own. Nobody likes talking to such people, since a conversation with them is not a dialogue but a monologue, and there is no chance of having a fruitful discussion.
They would go around in circles even when proven wrong.
Nobody wants to talk to such people, so make sure you are willing to accept when your beliefs are challenged, instead of being defensive.
What Next
The above points may seem obvious, and most would think they are not one of them. But the fact is unless you are intentional about what you say you will never realize when you fall into one of the above categories.
Almost everyone gossips, makes excuses, becomes negative, or complains. The problem is when these are not one-off failings of human nature, but a habit.
If you can identify when your speech is falling into one of these types and can avoid it you would become a better speaker than you currently are.
If you are a regular subscriber you would know I am pursuing to start to venture into the realm of personal coaching. Please do support me in this new venture by filling out this really quick survey Click For Survey(2min)
You would be an integral part of my journey, and this newsletter is the resource that would have all that I want to share with you.
Do share this newsletter with anyone who would benefit from my weekly content.
Wish me luck.
Hope you have a great year ahead.
See you again next week.
Till then
Jijo George